Episode 8 - How to Stay Grounded When Life Feels Heavy

Join Antonio Neves and Jason Lindstrom for this episode of Pilot 2 Co-Pilot as they unpack what happens when life feels too heavy - not always necessarily because something is going wrong but because everything is happening at once: full calendars, constant responsibilities, and seasons when you realize that you’ve stopped coming up for air. They explore how staying grounded in such moments requires more than just pushing through and instead calls for intentional habits that create space for presence, joy, and clarity. From work pressures and leadership demands to personal seasons of stress and change, Antonio and Jason examine how both structure and self-awareness can help prevent overwhelm from taking over and causing burnout.

Tune in as they share how easy it can be to slip into reactive mode when schedules are packed and distractions are constant and why being proactive with time, attention, and attitude can make a major difference in how we experience each day. They discuss the role of movement such as bike-riding, real connection, and simple breaks that don't even necessarily require money. They also get open about how guilt and productivity pressure often block people from doing things that are actually helpful, especially when it comes to rest, hobbies, and “non-productive” joy.

Toward the end of their conversation, Jason and Antonio reflect on mindset, resilience, and the difference between simply feeling grateful and recognizing daily wins, especially during difficult seasons. Jason shares how his personal experiences have shaped his ability to compartmentalize, stay grounded, and show up for others with empathy, while still maintaining focus and discipline in his own life. This episode ultimately centers on the idea that even in full and demanding seasons, we still have choices about how we show up, what we prioritize, and how we create space for meaning, connection, and joy in the middle of it all!

 What You'll Take Away:

• Why full seasons of life aren’t always bad can still feel overwhelming
• How staying grounded comes from being intentional with time and energy
• Why breaks, movement, new experiences, and real human connection are essential tools for clearing mental overload
• Examples of how fun, rest, and joy don’t have to be expensive or rare
• Why a strong mindset also matters: focusing on what you can control and      recognizing small wins

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Hey everyone, welcome to Pilot the Co-Pilot, a leadership podcast with me, Antonio Nev and Jason Lindstrom. Now, today we're talking about what happens when life gets hard or heavy all at once. Not necessarily devastating. You know, sometimes life is technically good. Career is moving, family is healthy, opportunities are there, but it's still a lot. The calendar is full, responsibilities stack up, and somewhere along the way you realize you haven't really come up for error. So in this episode, we're going to talk about how to stay grounded, avoid overwhelm, and still find joy and presence during full seasons of life. So let's get into it. Actually, Jason, as I read that introduction, I'm curious, can you think of any seasons of your life that felt like that? Whether listen, they can be hard, right? You can be going through something hard, the loss of a parent or changes in just life, but also it just be your schedule is crazy with work responsibilities. Any seasons that you can think about that remind you of those?

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Yeah, you know, the it's probably why we haven't done a podcast lately, um, because the first part of this year is so busy. Um, you know, just getting started with the new year and and the routine of, you know, starting over essentially in the credit union business, our financials kind of start over at the beginning of the year. We're on a new budget season, you're on all those things. And um, you know, then you have the turmoil in the economy, the turmoil with the war that's going on, you know, you have inflation, a number of things that start to happen. And um, above all that, you know, there's conferences and there's all kinds of stuff going on at the beginning of the year. It just seems like it's really front-loaded. Um, and I think the the biggest thing to stay grounded in all of that is um to have a plan and have a focus, uh, maintain that calendar. Um, if you have to cancel a meeting or not go to something um and you can afford to miss it, uh, then I think that's possibly you know what what you can do. But it's um yeah, it's uh it's tough. And I just coming out of that heavy season, I think my my annual meeting is in March. I have a government affairs conference. You know, there's so many things that that go on uh you know in credit union land in the first part of the year. And so it it can be challenging. So yeah, I'm I'm here yet, full on.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Yeah, especially listen, we have young kids at home now, and it's not only my responsibilities and the traveling, and of course, my wife and all of their responsibilities. For me, I'm finding that in seasons like this to stay grounded, I have to intentionally press pause every now and then and give myself time to actually process what's going on. I I may have said it before on this podcast, but I write about this often and talk about it on stage, Jason. But I believe so many of us, especially during full seasons, we get emotionally constipated. And what I mean by that is we get a backlog of emotions that we don't let out because we're going, going, going. And when I say emotions, it could be good stuff. Like there could be some wins and successes that we've we've had that we just haven't hit pause to celebrate, to acknowledge, because we're on to the next thing. There could be some sadness around certain things that we haven't processed. There could be anger, joy, all these different things. And I can tell you one thing, I find that when I hit pause, and maybe now that I think about you, maybe this happens for you on bike rides. When I hit pause and I go for that walk in nature, specifically without headphones, without dings on my wrist, without listening to podcasts, and I just hear that space is like a dishwasher overnight cleaning everything and getting everything crisp and clean, ready to go. So for you, do you find you intentionally schedule pauses or bike rides like that for you?

SPEAKER_00 4:00

Yeah, I think for me, I just bike riding is such a part of my life that um if I miss one, I'm sore the next day because my body is so in tune to it. And so I think it's tough. You do have to hit those pauses, but you you're so right about having an outlet. Um, I think a lot of leaders sometimes get stuck in that routine, um, you know, and then they finally just end up exploding or something goes on because they don't have the ability to pause or they're not taking the time or the ability to pause. And so um I feel like, you know, having those pauses that you talk about is is very important to staying grounded, um, but also get out of the day-to-day um and all of the things that are going on, the schedules, the the busyness factor. Um, you know, we talked, I think, on the last podcast about PTO, taking the time off to do PTO. And um, you know, you talk about emotions. I was on a two-week safari in South Africa and wow, you know, all of that um was was fantastic. And you come back and you have to like re-plug into everything. I'm not out chasing elephants and uh zebras on the you know, the the savannah or whatever you call it um now, but I'm back at work chasing elephants and the zebras, right? And so I think it's just it's one of those things where um, you know, you do have to hit pause. You have to take that PTO time, um, but also like when you're in the in the thick of it, uh, to be able to break away, like you say. Like when you work out and no dings on your watch, no uh podcast, stuff like that, just getting out, you know. For me, I can, you know, ride 10 miles outdoors, 18 miles outdoors, whatever. Um, but even if I'm tired, um, I could do five, seven miles on the Peloton at night after work. And it just breaks me away from all that's going on.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Now, as you say that, I didn't plan on talking about this, and maybe it's more appropriate for later in the podcast, but I think this is a good topic right now, especially during hard, challenging seasons. You know, at some point I realized, you know, it's been a challenging past couple of years for me. You know, we talked about this on the podcast and losing our home and the wildfires out here in California. But what's fascinating is that I realized something that became obvious for me, Jason, beyond work, kids, family, all amazing things, I wasn't having a lot of fun. You know, I didn't have that hobby, if you will, to get away to recharge. And so I'm curious for you, if you if you look at bike riding, of course, there's an amazing physical aspect and element of it. But hunches, you would consider it a hobby, and it's also fun. And in my coaching that I do one-on-one with people, a question I regularly ask people is, what are you doing for fun these days? And when I tell you, Jason, they don't have answers for that, you know, beyond watching their series that after the kids go to bed at 9 p.m., they put on an episode of Peaky Blinders or something. Right. Speaking about myself right now, uh, they have they're not having fun. And I it's funny, I uh the office I work at in LA is not far from movie theater. And you know what I want to do sometimes? I want to go in the middle of the day and go watch a 90-minute movie or two-hour movie, but very rarely do I do that because guess what word comes up? Guilt. Well, I feel like we always need to be doing something. So I'm serious, curious, even if not just with you, when you think about leaders you've come across internally within your work or even your your peers when you go to these events. Are people having fun, Jason? Or is does the guilt stack up for them? They don't allow themselves to do that.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

I I think there's a lot of fun that goes on at some of these events. Sometimes too much fun.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Um, you know, with the because we're catching up at the events. We finally go to the conference, you get away for three days, but we got to find a way to do in our day-to-day life too, beyond just when we get on a plane.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

Right. And I and I think that that is that's a that's a really good quality of a leader, right? It is that that ability to break away and have fun, but you also want to make things fun in the workplace. And so, um, you know, I think we we do a number of things at our organization to create fun. And um, you know, and I think I think people can have hobbies that are fun, you know. Even you know, you got somebody that like likes to crochet and make blankets or you know, scarves or whatever it might be, and and that's their outlet. They don't have to get out and ride 10 miles to have fun. Um, you know, they can do that. And and so I think I think you're right in so many aspects, um, you know, even if it's just you know, watching your TV show and all that, but um you really need to have that process as any employee, not even just a leader, just to be able to have fun, not only like within the work environment. And I know things can get tedious, um, you know, the job can get monotonous. And I think that goes back to a lot of things I always say, which is uh always raise your hand and ask to take on more, because some of those things that you might take on more might bring you some fun and some joy that breaks the monotony of your day-to-day work job, right? And what you're doing. And so I think there's a lot to be said about that and you know, having fun and creating that fun environment. You know, I know we've got people that um, you know, love to listen to music. They they like to go to concerts and they like to dance or they like to do whatever. And that's the outlet that they have. And I think it's fantastic that um, you know, people develop that. What what gets troubling is when someone doesn't have fun. When they don't have fun in the workplace or they don't have fun in their own, you know, family life and what's going on and the the day-to-day, or it might be heavy at home. You know, they may be, you know, struggling to make ends meet. That's when, that's when it gets tough. And that's when you also have to like pull away. And there's a lot of things you can do for fun that are free. You know, you don't need a very expensive mountain bike. You can go on a hike, especially here in Maine. You can go on a nice hike, and all you need is a good pair of shoes, really. And um, you know, get out, get out one with nature, you know, get down to the beach, just even have a you know, seat on a bench by the ocean and listen to the waves for half an hour. Um, you know, that could be enough fun that just gets you out of that overload of work and and the schedule and the daily monotony that you feel.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Absolutely. And I'm glad you said things that are free, because one thing we're not suggesting, one thing I'm not suggesting is you got to spend money. You got to get on a plane, you got to do these things, especially right now, as plane ticket prices are jumping like crazy. But within your community, whether it's a large community or small community, there's something we can do to have some fun. Uh the big thing is being willing to do it and willing to schedule it and put it on the calendar. You know, I think in busy seasons, again, whether they're just full ones because of responsibilities, young kids or jobs or promotions, those things, or hard ones when you're really, really going through something. I know we've all experienced both of those. What would you suggest folks do to avoid living in reaction mode? And I think about reaction mode because we we find ourselves in kind of fight or flight. And I'll tell you one thing I I do to try to catch myself from constantly being in reaction mode is you're familiar with the one-day method and the one day method planner. You know, the question I ask at the top of that bad boy is what will make today a success? Right. And the way I'm even starting to evolve the language now as I'm doing workshops is what will make today matter? And I find what's interesting, Jason, is that if I ask myself that question with my planner open or my schedule, what will make today a success or what will make today matter? If I answer that before I open email and look at messages and social media, it keeps me driven, it keeps me focused on what's matters. It kind of puts blinders on, if you will. Think about horses who have the blinders on, because I identified what's most important instead of just letting the emails that come in uh decide which direction my way is going, my day is going to go. Don't get me wrong, there are fires and uh urgent things that we have to tackle. But I find most people don't identify what's going to make their day success. What is when you, especially at the top of an organization, when there are a lot of fires, I'm sure maybe not a lot of fires, but just a lot of needs and responsibilities coming in, what do you do to avoid being in reaction mode?

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Yeah, I think uh, you know, I'm a big planner, so I'm always looking at looking ahead, a couple steps ahead. Um, and I, you know, I think that's why we're successful as an organization is we try to be proactive versus reactive. Um, and I think in your daily life, you know, for for any level, I think that really helps to be proactive and have a plan every day. Like you said, your your one-day method is great, great book, great um layout for um, you know, how to live your life on a daily basis. And, you know, let's say you're a call center rep and you have a goal of um, you know, less than 30 seconds wait time, you know, challenge yourself. Like, let's beat that. And, you know, that can be your goal for the day. Like, I want to make sure I have nobody waiting on hold that long. Or um, you know, if you have a wait time, you know, a call that, you know, you want to keep under two minutes, you know, all those metrics are available. And so you can have fun by challenging yourself, even as a call center rep, to try to go through the process of how am I to meet my goal today? Um, and I think, you know, in our business in the credit union world, you know, so much hinges on who's walking in the door that day and what are their needs. And so I think from the frontline perspective, uh, yeah, you know, you know, you're cash in checks or your depositing checks and you're getting loans and all that, but everybody that you come in top contact with has their own story. And I think there's some value to that is um, you know, approaching each interaction uh with some, you know, fun level and being able to talk to people and be sure that, you know, you're you're getting your the products and services that we offer out to them, but also listening to their story and just engaging with humanity, I think, helps with that process. And so, you know, at the end of the day, I think I'm successful if I can leave on time. And there are times when I'm successful and I leave on time, and on my way home, something else happens, right? And so I'm jumping back on my laptop um at six or seven o'clock at night to go back through something else or on my phone to send an email back to somebody about something. Um and then there's also like volunteerism stuff that you can do after the fact if you want to be able to, you know, continue the role and help out others. And and so I do a lot of that as well. But I think it's just it's it's really just having that plan for um yourself to, you know, a have fun, engage with humanity, be um, you know, and just be engaged with the process. And like I said, you can you can take any job and and have fun in it and and build the goals uh to accomplish each day. Uh and then, you know, if something's going on in the home life, then you know, maybe that's your goal. It's like, hey, I'm gonna get through work from today today, and then I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna talk to my kids about X, Y, Z, whatever it is. Um, and I think that that helps too, knowing that you have a plan, like this is what I'm gonna do when I get home today.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

Yeah, having a plan. I think a lot of people don't have a plan. They're just being reactionary. And I get it. And the problem nowadays, or the challenge nowadays, is that again, we have so many things coming at us and we have so many distractions, right? Whereas I was laughing with someone recently and I said, Man, I'm so happy that I know what it's like to have to wait a week to watch my favorite show. You know, the fact that everything's immediately available to us, whether it be through social media, you can watch 10 episodes of a series, you know, back to back to back. I'm so I'm so glad that the delayed gratification thing, I think you hit on something interesting though. And that is that what I'm hearing you say, Jason, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that we gotta make a choice. And I think there are three things always in our control, right? Our attitude, the effort we give, and the actions that we take. And I think it's interesting. We think about actions and effort, but one thing that's huge is attitude. What kind of mood are we gonna show up with? How are we gonna show up? And when I think about attitude, that's a choice. But also I think a lot of people, and sometimes I have to remind myself of this, we need to recommit. We talk about commitment so much, but we need to recommit to those things we are so important. I get it, guess what? Not everyone loves their job. I mean, that whether we're just telling the truth. Not everyone absolutely loves their job. However, if they are willing to look at that job and what it offers, whether it's the pay, whether it's the benefits, whether it's the relationships, all those things that gives us that job that someone may dislike. If you if you look at it with the right attitude, it could be something you're so incredibly thankful for. But again, you got to come at it with the right lens. So I think a lot of us, and I'm reminding myself right now, that we got to make a choice uh to control what we can control. And one of those things is our attitude. And I can tell you from so many conversations with you, whether it be on this podcast, but also in real life, I've never heard you talk from a place of victimhood. It's always from an empowering perspective, controlling what you can control, being a problem solver, creative thinker. Is that something? If I met you 20 years ago, were you were you that guy back then as well? Or is this something that you've developed over the course of your life and career?

SPEAKER_00 17:35

No, I've I've always been very um compartmentalized, I guess, where I can compartmentalize things in my head to say, okay, I might have this going on at home, but when I show up at work, I'm gonna be, you know, the the good guy here. And um I I think that's a it's a really tough skill for some folks to to grasp and understand how that works. Um and for me, I don't know if it was just my my upbringing. I was uh, you know, kind of brought up in a strict family household. Um my dad is uh Swedish and you know, really had like hey, when you're 18, you're on your own. And so I turned 18 and I had no candles on my birthday cake because I was done. I was an adult. And he said, You can live here for the summer and earn money to go to college. By the way, I paid for myself. Um and as a as a teller. Right, right, exactly, as a teller at college. And uh so it it just it was one of those things that, you know, I would I had to compartmentalize the feelings that I had with what was going on in the family life and really focus on earning enough money to go to college. And I had to drop out of college. It took me 10 years to get my bachelor's degree, and so yes, I've had those trials and tribulations, but I think um what I learned through all of that process was the ability to compartmentalize, the ability to show up at work, the ability to look at work as, hey, I'm gonna spend eight hours plus of my day, five days a week, more time spent there with family, essentially. Um, I'm gonna make it fun. I'm gonna make it so that I enjoy what I do. I'm gonna learn all that I can while I'm there. Um and then again, I'm gonna raise my hand and take on more. And I think that's what's led me to the CEO chair, right? Is having those kind of focuses um and and not be the victim. I can look back at my college experience and say, gosh, you know, I it took me 10 years to get my bachelor's degree. And hey, guess what? I'm not a doctor. I'm not, you know, surgical, a surgeon like uh my wife just had ACL surgery. And I think it like the skill that it takes to do that is is is crazy. Um, but yeah, those were trials and tribulations back in the past, but I'm able to compartmentalize that, and that's what's built my character as a hardworking individual, but also somebody that wants to have fun and know that, you know, there are people out there that get a full ride college paid for by their parents and they graduate in four years. Um, but do they appreciate that experience? And so I think along the way, I've appreciated all of my experiences. From the moment that I was a teller and was robbed at gunpoint, I can appreciate that experience and translate that to the tellers that work for me today. That I know when they go in to their job every day, they have a fear that that could happen to them. And so I can use that experience that I had years ago to help put them out of ease. Like, hey, as a leader, I've been there too. I've been in your shoes. And I think the more that we can do that in society at a workplace, just in general, you know, put yourself in someone's shoes. You know, you see um a homeless person on the corner, you know, begging for the their last dollar or whatever that they need uh just to eat a meal. And it's like I've never been that way. I've never had to put myself in that person's shoes. And I can only imagine how hard that is, what a hard life that is on a regular basis, that you're standing out here in Portland, Maine. Sometimes in the winter it's cold out, and you, you know, you just have the clothes on your back, and that's what your job is is to beg for food. And so I think there's a lot, lot to that to look at things and be able to compartmentalize things. And, you know, sure, there's been stuff in my life that I've had, and I actually had a manager, um uh executive vice president tell me at one time like, I had no idea that was going on in your personal life. I'm like, yeah, you don't because I compartmentalize and I show up to work ready to go. And what do you need me to do? And I I think that's a that plays a big role for all levels in in the workplace, but also like the home life too. It's like you got to show up and and you got to be able to compartmentalize and uh you know do the different things, you know, whether it's you know, biking after work and then or I'm going to uh a meeting where I'm a volunteer board member and I've got to be in a meeting for two hours after work. Um, and so you know, I think all of that just kind of um makes it one of those things where you know, if you if you can do that and you can compartmentalize through everything, it it really works out.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

Yeah, as as you're talking, first I'm blown away. Yeah, I'm reminded, Jason, that the internet tells a story, but it can never tell the whole story. I mean, there's a few things just right now I learned about you. I didn't know when I hear about, I didn't know you were robbed lunch of the teller by a gun. I didn't know that um the 10-year journey to get that degree. And then the one that really, really sticks out, by the way, we're gonna be right, I can't, we're we're writing you a book, man, because you got a story. Um, I'm just imagining vision, I'm just envisioning your father telling you you're 18 now, no, no candles on the cake. You can stay here for the summer. You gotta like things you talk about generational divides. That sounds like my dad. Things at certain generations now, I'm not saying it's better or worse, but kids we may not ever understand or appreciate when you have kids post-college graduation moving back in with their parents. And don't get me wrong, I'm the kind of parent that I want to support my kids the best they can. If that's them, I'm not gonna kick them out living at home. I'm gonna do that 100%. And I give that our parents' generation, that they were different, built from a different cloth. Not necessarily right or wrong, but just fascinating you sharing that and makes me think about generational differences. But also, I'll say I'll share something funny. I think you'll appreciate about how we can compartmentalize. And I don't know if this is a uh a Tony thing, a guy thing, or just a human thing. I was in the grocery store not long ago, and I was having a tough day, I'll be honest with you. And I'll tell you this, man, some you know, grocery stores, they play the wrong music that can hit you emotionally sometimes. And some song came on at the wrong time, and I said, I'm walking around the grocery store with eggs and things, and I'm like, wait a second, am I about to cry in a grocery store? Is this really about to happen? Am I gonna see some fellow parents from our kids' school? And I swear, right when the tears were about to come down, Jason, I walked by the aisle that had aftershave, and my brain was like, oh, you need aftershave. And all of us, all the emotions went away because my brain went into, oh, you have something you need to do. I think about how I can show up, and yeah, there's emotion, but I also can right away zip in and get focused if need to be on the task at hand. And I found it so funny how I was about to cry, then I realized, oh, you need aftershave. It's right down this aisle and everything was cool. You ever experienced something like that?

SPEAKER_00 25:03

Yeah. Uh you know, I just I just was mountain biking in um Bentonville, Arkansas, which you think if you're not a mountain biker, you don't realize that this place is the mountain bike mecca of uh the world, essentially. Um, you know, Sam Walton and his family have put so much money in that community to make it a bike-friendly community. And so there's like a main drag that you can ride down, and then all these offshoots to trails. And so I get up to this one area called the castle, right? And it's this like rock, rocky outcropping thing that's been built, and it's got beginner trails that go off, intermediate trails that go off, and then more advanced trails that go off. And it gets steeper with each thing, like the drop off into the trail, which was like a flowy kind of curvy trail, pretty flat on the beginner side, and the intermediate side a little bit steeper. So I roll my bike up to the edge and I like look over and I'm like, okay, I think I can do this. And so a couple of my buddies were there with me, and they're like, Are you gonna go? I'm like, Yeah, just and I just went for it and just up off this like drop in, and it was a blast. But it was one of those moments where it was like I went over that little hill thing, and I'm like, what did I get myself into? I have to concentrate, there's jumps ahead, like all of this. And I had never been on this trail, and and one of the one of the like tenets of mountain biking is that you want to like take it easy going through a trail the first time. Um, and you want to scope it out, you want to know where things are because rocky outcroppings happen or a drop happens, and it just was it was a fascinating experience because everything like tunnel vision closed in, and all I was looking at is the trail and like what's ahead of me. And so, you know, I think when you talk about compartmentalizing, and you know, you had the aftershave effect where it's like, hey, that that hit you and like stopped everything, but you knew that's what you needed to do. And it was like the same thing for me, but just a different level of like, hey, I'm gonna go down this rollover into this trail, and I'm committed. Like, you don't stop, like you go.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

You don't stop, you go. You know what you know what's fascinating about that is as you just described that. First, I'm doing that with you next year, but it makes me think about brain science, neuroscience. And people say, as we get older, they say, you know, it feels like time is going by faster. Yeah. And that there's a reason why time is going by faster, at least it feels like it's going faster for us, say as opposed to kids or when we were in young, when we were kids, it's because it goes by fast because of the routine. Yeah. Because we're doing the same thing every single day. And they say if you do want to slow things down, it's by experiencing new things. So, for example, you do an experience like that slows time down because it's brand new. Your brain is processing that. Me doing some travels we did with our family last year in different countries, it slowed things down. I had the longest June I've ever had in my life last year because, and in a good way, because it was all brand new. It wasn't the the day of the day the same thing. I'm not saying folks need to go abroad or again go to the Arkansas to mountain bike, but there are things within our communities that we can do that are different, whether that's a a new fitness class, whether that's trying something new, a new restaurant, going to an event, local theater production that we normally wouldn't consider going, but but why not? Because it keeps us young and it it keeps us present. Uh, let's get practical for a second, and as we get ready to land the plane here. Are there any routines or small habits uh that you use when life gets full? And I'll just share a couple here that have worked for me. Like, and I think we we we already discussed this one, but I can tell you right now, in full seasons, if I'm not sweating, uh I'm gonna go crazy. Like me, me having an outlet to increase my heart rate, to sweat, to get some of those endorphins are pretty much non-negotiable. And sometimes, even though I don't want to do it, I gotta do it. And some days it's just a 30-minute walk, but you gotta move. But something else that makes all the difference for me is connecting with others. And I'm not talking about connecting via text message, but I'm talking about actually hearing someone's voice in in real time. It can make all the difference in the world, even if it's just a five-minute conversation in person or over the phone. So those are two things that make a difference for me because I can isolate sometimes during challenging times. So sweating, but also connecting uh with others. How about you? Any any habits or things you know you need to intentionally do uh during challenging seasons?

SPEAKER_00 29:43

Well, you know, I I just I'll back up to what you were saying right there is that the our relationship as friends and everything, you know, I know you work out and you do all that. And you know, sometimes you'll call me from the treadmill, but you'll leave me a voice message on text. And I've never had anybody else do that. And I just find it so cool in a lot of ways because I'm not hearing your words through reading them, I'm actually hearing them. And so that that personal connection that you're talking about is so fantastic. And you do practice that so well. Um, and I'm always so awkward trying to reply, right? Because I've got to like speak and then normally use the texty. And so I have to speak and give you a message back. And um, you know, that that drives me to do something different and get out of my comfort zone, which I I thoroughly enjoy it. And and I'm starting to think about like, maybe I need to start doing that with more of my friends as well, right?

SPEAKER_01 30:41

Let me tell you this. Like, even though like last week we shared quite a few text voice voice messages together, and a lot of people think I'm a weirdo because I leave voice notes, and it's because my dear friend Drew started it. But I'll tell you, even though you and I, it was, I guess we can call it asynchronous, right? Even though you and I didn't talk in real time, it felt like we had a conversation. It was full. And we're not, and I will, I don't, and it's real because a text message, our thumbs get tired. We're gonna say as little as possible. But we went back and forth and literally it felt like a conversation. You got to express some things, I got to express some things, and it's so helpful. And uh that's a connection for me, even though it wasn't in real time. And so I'm appreciative of that.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Yeah, and I think um, you know, we can challenge our listeners to do that. Just do it one time with somebody you know, send one of those voice messages through text and see how that person responds, and if they respond back, and like, what the heck are you doing, man? You know, just in a text text, or do they give you a message back and see how that is? That's that that human connection just really matters, I think. And um, you know, that that's just one thing. Um trying to think of other things I do, definitely the the workout factor, you know, losing a lot of weight, helping beat type two diabetes. You know, I just have to keep up with it. And like as I said earlier, um, if I don't ride, I'm like more sore from not riding because I think my body has adjusted to it because I've done this now for since 2021. So we're looking at five years of like straight riding as much as I possibly can. And there are times when I need a day off or whatever, but I'll do like a stretching class or something else to like continue to get my rings and be sure that I'm I'm maximizing everything. And I think that drives me on the personal side, uh, the professional side. It's just trying to stick with everything that I'm doing. I don't give up on things. Um, you know, if if I have a term limit in a board that I'm serving on, you know, that's not an anniversary date that I want to have happen. I want to continue beyond that. And so I don't look at setting a goal like, oh, I'm gonna do this for three years because the term is three years. I'm gonna do it day by day and I'm gonna just take it and I'm gonna continue to plan. I'm gonna see how I can help out another organization. And uh when it ends at the end of three years or six years or whatever the term is, um, you know, if I can still volunteer and be involved in whatever organization, it's great. But um, so I think there's there's a couple things there that, you know, definitely the fitness aspect, the uh voice text thing is cool.

SPEAKER_01 33:15

Um and you didn't say this, but I think this is probably one for all of us that comes in handy. I'll tell you one thing, having something on your calendar to look forward to makes all the difference. And it doesn't need to be something big, but just something on there you're looking forward to, whether it's a weekend, whether it's a class you're going to, a movie you're gonna see, a show, uh game night you host at home for a few friends. Like I don't think we have enough stuff on our calendar we actually look forward to. Let's let's let's land the plane with this one right here. And I'm I'm and I'm curious, you know, we talk so much about gratitude. And I think during tough seasons, one thing people really lean on is gratitude. And uh, this may be controversial. Uh I'm starting to I'm starting to look at gratitude very much a different way because, you know, if you're in a tough season and you say, I'm I'm I have so much gratitude, I'm so thankful for my health, but you're waking up with panic attacks or your voice is labored, you know, that gratitude, what does it do for you? If you if you're thankful for your job, but say it's a really tough season at work, like what does that do for you? And I'll tell you what I've been doing is, and I appreciate gratitude and I love the research on it, but this comes about with a one-day method as well. Instead of focusing on gratitude, what I do at the end of the day, Jason, I don't write down three things I'm uh I have gratitude for. I write down three wins instead. I think they're they're very close, gratitude and wins, but wins are tangible. So instead of saying I'm grateful for my health, I'll say, man, a win today was that 30-minute walk that I got. Huge, right? It's that's a win. Uh a win today was five outreach. I did outreach to five different people. Not I'm grateful for my job, I'm grateful for my work. A win today for me was I reached out to five separate people for Biz Dev. You know, a win is that um the conversation I've been avoiding that I finally I finally had progress on the proposal. How do you look at gratitude and wins or do you do you track your days?

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Yeah, I think I think very similarly um to what you're saying is that um the little things are are big wins. Um, you know, if I can get out of the office on time and get home and help my wife make dinner or something like that, that's a win where neither one of us have some volunteer thing that we're doing that night. You know, she's laid up at home and I have to be a nurse, and I'm not a nurse. I do not like it at all whatsoever. Um, and you know, she said, I'm doing an excellent job. I'm like, really? Are you serious? Okay. So that's gratitude for me, right? It's like, okay, well, I don't like being a nurse, but she just gave me a good kudos that I'm doing a good job. And I think that matters. You know, that matters as a leader just going around and telling people doing a good job or sending them an email or voice text. Um, I wonder how that'll that would fly if I voice texted people at work um saying, hey, you did a great job. Um, and so I think there's just a there's a lot, lot to that um too. And and you know, the the gratitude piece is is very important. I think it's gratitude to to hear it, but also to give it.

unknown 36:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

Well 100%. Well, I think this has been a great conversation. I think our listeners are gonna get a lot of value out of it. And hey, find us on the internet. We're easy to find. We'd love to hear from you about what you do when life gets hard or it's heavy all at once. We'd love to hear from you. We thank you so much for joining another episode of Pilot to Copilot with me, Antonio Neves, and my friend Jason Lindstrom. And we look forward to uh seeing you back here very soon. Yeah, thanks, Antonio.